Twins 8, Brewers 6: The pen (also, bats) is mightier than the sword (the defense)

The kid had the jitters. Look, it happens. But Aidan still believes in Kaelen Culpepper’s glove, and because of that so do I. The Brewers, who are very good at taking advantage of other teams’ mistakes, did precisely that, but it wasn’t quite enough. Inning-by-inning notes:

1: Leadoff walk for Austin Martin; he steals second, two guys strike out. Brewer 2B Brice Turang makes a nice play to turn a sure Josh Bell RBI into an infield hit only. Kody Clemens hits one deep but not deep enough.

Jackson Chourio hits one deep that IS deep enough. Brewers 1-0

2: Luke Keaschall walks, and rookie SS Kaelen Culpepper’s first-ever MLB at-bat is… a popup out. Nobody else feels like getting any hits, either. At least the Twins are making Brewers lefty Shane Drohan throw a lot, he’s at 41 pitches, now. The bad news there is that Milwaukee has a pretty good bullpen.

A one-out single by Christian Yelich followed by another single and a flyout. Then an easy roller goes right under 2B Royce Lewis’s glove. It is a plain-as-day error, and Yelich scores when the inning should have been over.

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Two more runs score on a Turang double. Bring in the position players to pitch, no way the Twins score four against a lefty tonight. Former Seattle Pilots 4-0

3: Lewis tries to redeem himself with a homer and it’s not far enough. Stop trying, Royce, your error lost the Twins both the game and the season and probably the next 14 years and then the team will move to Albuquerque. Josh “Ring That” Bell does hit a homer and Ryan Jeffers WAS on base at the time, so I guess there’s a tiny chance Royce’s shame won’t last a lifetime but I doubt it.

Hey — it’s actually a 1-2-3 for Zebulon Matthews, and he’s only at 46 pitches. That’s not too bad.

4: Heya, rookie Culpepper in your first game! How about a long dong?

Victor Caratini walks and Ryan Kreidler puts down a sweet bunt up the third base line; both runners are safe. Then Martin doubles to left, but a good relay play gets Kreidler at home. Still, way to hit a lefty, for once!

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Lewis Lara singles with one out; two pitches later, the Twins are outta the inning via GIDP and Zebby’s only at 56 pitches. Baby all tied up 4-4

5: Back-to-back Lewis/Bell singles, and a perfect bunt (another one) by Klobberin’ Kody Klemens to load the bases. Kreidler his a blooper RBI that moves everybody up one. Alas, followed by a Culpepper GIDP, but a run does score. It feels like we shoulda had more there… shoulda kept bunting! Bunts are the new Moneyball, baby.

It’s all the firsts for Culpepper tonight; first AB, first homer, first GIDP, first error (that’s here). Then a David Hamilton single, then a four-pitch walk to Turang. Bases loaded, nobody out. Whatcha wanna bet they get more than two here?

Sac fly for Jake Bauers (Martin made a nice adjustment to catch it). A flyout to center, and Keaschall (wrongly) tries throwing it to third instead of to second; that allows both runners to move up, not just one.

So naturally the next play is an infield hit. Culpepper is too hesitant on the throw. Both this and the earlier botch are ruled infield hits; they should both have been ruled errors. The next batter grounds out, and “Zebby gets his fifth out of the inning” (per Kris Atteberry on radio, and he is correct). Tied 6-6

6: A two-out rally for Minnesota! Ryan Jeffers double, Lewis double RBI, Bell single RBI (have a game, Josh Bell). The lead be ours!

Now pitching is getting Weird… Zebby has to leave with an injury of some kind (blister on foot). New acquisition Tommy Nance comes in, Culpepper kinda boots another one, infield hit again. Runner advances on fielder’s choice, Nance Ks the next guy. New acquisition Tommy Nance goes out. Other new acquisition A.J. Minter enters. He had been with the Mets, does that mean he’s cursed?

Not yet, K. Twins 8-6

7: That good Brewers bullpen I mentioned way back when is in play; the first 1-2-3 inning for them so far tonight.

More newbie Twins hurlers; Jeff Hoffman (no relation to Trevor). Hoffman, of course, had been in camp with the Twins in 2023; they cut him and he was terrific for two years with the Phillies instead. He strikes out Chourio and walks Bauers. Then a fielder’s choice, walk, HBP.

Bases loaded, gulp! But a little Eddie Gurdado-style magic prevails; Luis Lara strikes out on three pitches.

8: Bryse Wilson pitching his second inning for the Brewers; he wrote “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” and “God Only Knows,” both of which sum up my feelings about the Twins’ chances here. For the first time tonight, a bunt backfires; Martin pops one straight to third, meaning leadoff runner Kreidler can’t advance. Nobody gets hits that would have knocked him in, anyways.

Andrew Morris in for Us. Gives up a one-out double to David Hamilton, no relation to Linda of the Terminator movies. Then a walk to put the go-ahead run at the plate… nuh-uh! A nice GIDP started by Royce, inning over.

9: 1-2-3 again for the Twins. I told you this bullpen is good.

Now it’s time for the less-good one, presenting Yoendrys Gómez here. Bauers takes a third strike; Contreras pops one up. But then Garrett Mitchell, on a 3-1 count…

…grounds meekly to second. Twims wim! (We spell it wrong on purpose sometimes.)

Studs: I mean Bell, duh, 4-4, 3 RBI. Two hits apiece for Kreidler and Leis, even if Lewis’s +/- tonight was -3. Yoendrys the Merciless for a no-drama save.

Duds: Zebby went gone, cause his blister was no fun, Zebby was gone… pen arms still got the game won. Actually, the one dud goes to the official scorer, who gave Matthews three earned runs (when it should have been only one).

COTG goes to our spy in Milwaukee for a traditional TwinkieTown suggestion to take over at shortstop, jjam for a story about a naughtily-titled Wisconsin song, and Kirilofffan19 with “A little interesting fact: there’s only one Twins player who has hit 4 homers in 4 games in the MiLB playoffs.” I’m guessing it’s Brian Dinkelman.

Thanks to everyone who joined in on a nice summer weekend night.

Tomorrow’s game will be at 6:10, featuring superbly-named (for a pitcher) Robert Gasser against our own Taj Bradley. Catch y’all next time!