I traded San Francisco’s startup scene for a quieter life in Buenos Aires. It’s helped me build a family.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Koby Conrad, the 32-year-old founder of Sunflower, an AI companion for sobriety.

It’s been edited for length and clarity.

I’m originally from Boise, Idaho, and didn’t even realize tech was a thing.

My little brother convinced me to move to San Francisco when I was 26.

At the time, I had this 2,000-square-foot house, and my mortgage was like $900 a month.

In San Francisco, I moved in with nine roommates, where I was paying $1,600 for this tiny little room.

My little brother applied to Y Combinator, which I had never heard of, and he put me down as his cofounder.

That’s how I got into YC: Quit your job, move to SF, and six weeks later you get in.

It’s one of the most gorgeous cities on the face of the planet.

You’re surrounded by nature, really smart people, and some of the best food.

Being in SF is like peaking over the edge of the universe and seeing what’s coming next.

That’s my biggest fear about not being in San Francisco: the world’s going to move, and I’m going to be behind.

The flip side of that is, if you’re in SF, you’re around a specific type of person all the time.

Highly technical humans who work at tech companies is 90% of the circle.

I think it’s really good for early-career humans.

Leaving a city is like breaking up with an ex.

You want someone better after, and you never want to downgrade.

I asked, “How do I find a city that is better than SF?” I had two options: New York or Buenos Aires.

I spent a bunch of time in both, but ultimately I decided that I really like Buenos Aires.

The US does a really good job of romanticizing Europe and Asia, but we never think of Latin America.

At my old company, Rupa Health, we would do our off-sites in Mexico and Costa Rica.

My brain really likes learning things.

Learning a second language and being in an environment where everything is new is super stimulating for my mind.

I love the food, I love the culture, and I love the fact that my rent is 10x cheaper.

In SF, if I’m making $300,000, I’m still stressed about money.

Here, you can make $100,000 and think: “Cool, I’m set for the rest of my world.” The problem is that some parts of Latin America are dangerous.

I was in Medellín for a bit and almost got kidnapped while walking up to the airplane.

Argentina is one of the safest places in Latin America.

Buenos Aires is the safest city across multiple dimensions.

There are people walking their kids in strollers.

You don’t have the earthquake fear.

The cops are amazing here and won’t shake you down.

I’ve been coming in and out of the country every three months.

Not being in SF means I travel to it frequently.

I am applying for my nomad visa, though.

I’m about to have a baby, my girlfriend is here, and we’re about to get a gorgeous office space.

Technical talent will be in SF and New York, but the go-to-market team will be in Buenos Aires.

When I go to San Francisco, it’s like: here’s a poker game, here’s a founder dinner party, here’s an investor event you need to go to.

When I’m in Argentina, I have nothing to do but work 24/7.

I have a full-time house manager who feeds me and does my laundry to make sure there’s nothing I have to do besides work.

There’s a reason I moved 10,000 kilometers away.

I’m a nerd who used to play a bunch of “RuneScape” and “World of Warcraft.” For me, tech startups are an extension of that.

It’s really hard to be able to have a house or apartment that’s big enough to have a baby in San Francisco.

You either need a spouse that doesn’t work or you need to be able to hire childcare.

As a founder, I have employees who are pregnant, and they’re going to have three months of maternity leave.

I can’t have three months of leave.

I’m going to be out of the office for two weeks for the first time in six years; that’s my leave.

To do my job and have kids, I have to be able to sleep and take care of them during the day.

That’s on top of having an extra bedroom.

It would cost me half a million dollars to be able to afford that lifestyle in San Francisco.

Some of the most ambitious founders I’ve met haven’t been in SF.

Our ambitions should include kids and family.

That’s the reason most people want to have a $10 million outcome.

I want to build massive things, have kids, and leave it all to them.

People give up so much by being in those cities.

If you’re a founder and want to have a family, you basically have to be already exited.