Can Stoicism Help Sunderland Fans Survive the Season?

Chelsea

That was Mrs L’s verdict after listening to my final deliberation about the Xhaka saga. Whilst it appears to be over, disappointingly it had triggered dark and negative thinking. I don’t like it.

Mrs L is probably right then. I need to be more “stoic”.

But what does that mean, and what do I need to change to survive the pre-season, never mind next season and Europe? I wasn’t entirely sure what “stoic” really meant beyond “get a grip”. So, to be better prepared, I did what any self-respecting obsessive would do. I looked it up.

Good timing as well, as England at the World Cup is stressing me out, never mind the situation at Sunderland.

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What I found was older than I expected and closer to home than I expected.

Stoicism is a 2,000-year-old philosophy shaped by the likes of Marcus Aurelius (who sounds like an Italian footballer), Epictetus (which sounds like a medical complaint) and Seneca (which sounds like a solution for constipation). Funny names, but evidently great thinkers….

Stoicism’s core principle is so simple that even I can get it. Focus on what you can control, accept what you cannot, and don’t let the rest own you.

Simples… then an uncomfortable thought emerged. Have I, and my fellow Sunderland supporters, been Stoics all along? I looked deeper into the core principles and consolidated them into the following five.

After Chelsea had circled like vultures in their unscrupulous attempt to entice our captain, I’m now on high alert. I’m dipping into Facebook and X every five minutes for the latest updates and “opinions”, hoping nothing else raises its ugly head. And it isn’t helping my sanity.

Am I spending too much emotional energy on things I can’t influence? Yes. Of course I am.

So I turned to Stoicism for guidance and found the “new Stoic” in me saying, “Que sera, sera. Stop it, man. Step away. Let it go.”

I reminded myself that I cannot control these things. What I can control is my reaction and my attempt to be better. Some good teaching from the Stoics.

It’s easier said than done, though, but I’m going to try harder.

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Sunderland can’t fully navigate the football market the way they want to, especially if the right offer comes in at the wrong time – no club can. What the club can do is control its response.

I think they’ve been exactly right so far: calm, unpanicked and robust. I’m proud of their stance with Chelsea. No theatre. Just a clear statement.

It will define how other clubs approach us, hopefully with more respect. It’ll send a message to our players too that they are part of a “big” club that takes no nonsense.

A Stoic would approve of the strong character presented by our club. Sometimes dignity is louder than noise.

Not a B-side by Bad Manners, but another Stoic principle. It translates as “love your fate”.

Not endurance and not resignation – just an acceptance so complete that it’s part of you.

I tried to get my head around it… things like standing in the Fulwell End on a wet Tuesday night, the relegations, the League One years, the string of Wembley defeats, taking Mrs L to the 4-5 against Coventry… the list goes on.

At the time, they felt like emotional ruptures, but now those events feel formative – part of growing up. Without them, there’s no identity and no moments of pure elation – enter Ian Porterfield, Dan Ballard and Tommy Watson.

So I’m going to concentrate on being a little more amor fati.

If Xhaka had gone, then goodbye! It’s part of the exciting ride on the Sunderland rollercoaster – another chapter in the book. So enjoy it.

Sunderland and me – we’ll crack on regardless.

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I bet a night out with the Stoics was a barrel of laughs…

This next principle translates as “Remember you will die.”

On the face of it, it’s fatalistic to say the least. Perhaps, though, it’s more about calibration – life is short and attention is precious. Don’t waste time on things that don’t move the needle.

In football terms, enjoy what’s going on, even the tense bits… especially the tense bits.

So I’m thinking that I’m going to try and enjoy the next saga. It’s part of life and part of being alive.

Now then. Marcus Aurelius may have been prophetically talking about Sunderland without realising it.

He argued that you should mentally prepare for difficulties before they arrive. “Contingency planning”, I suppose, in modern parlance.

The Xhaka situation was annoying, inconvenient and potentially damaging. But say, for example, he’s injured and finished – a Brian Clough moment. The club would have to respond and adapt.

Great clubs – and we want to be one again – simply absorb situations like this and adjust.

Kyril Louis-Dreyfus and the recruitment team already seem to be working to this principle. A five-year strategy, succession plans, contingencies and options. No fear. Just structure and process.

So I’m putting my trust in them to work through this.

I’ll try to worry less about transfer rumours, social media meltdowns and every passing headline. I’ll focus on what I can control and leave the rest to those who actually make the decisions.

And have faith in them like never before.

But there’s one part of Stoicism I’ll happily ignore.

The Stoics distrusted “hope”. Sunderland supporters can’t.

Hope is woven into our DNA. It’s why we kept turning up in League One. It’s why Wembley heartbreak never stopped us booking the next ticket. It’s why a packed Stadium of Light still believes something extraordinary might happen in the 94th minute.

Stoicism might help me become a better supporter.

Hope is what made me one in the first place.

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