As a parent of an incoming high school freshman, I want to do all I can to support my son’s transition to his large, urban high school.
He has just finished nine years at a tiny private school and knows virtually no one at the school he will be attending in the fall.
As a mom, of course, I’m anxious for him.
Learning to navigate the academic demands of high school while building a whole new social circle will be a big change, which might mean some adjustments in how I show up for my kid.
Professionally, I’m a middle school counselor, so I know my son will be just fine.
My husband, a high school science teacher, and I value the diversity and egalitarian nature of a large public high school and are thrilled to cheer on our kid as he takes the next step in his educational journey.
As educators, we know the right support can go a long way, and we’ve worked hard this summer to set our son up for success at his new school.
We have prioritized a calm summer schedule, giving our son the best possible start to the new year.
Our family typically travels for 3 to 5 weeks each summer, both to international destinations and to visit family on the East Coast.
This year, we booked only two weeks away for a family holiday in Mexico City and Oaxaca with the intention of maximizing time at home.
I reasoned that having more free time would add spaciousness to this critical summer, allowing for lazy days before the madcap pace of the school year kicks in.
This extra time has allowed us to connect more, too.
We have found many pockets of time, during dinner, dog walks, and car rides, to talk through his thoughts and feelings about this big school transition.
I know from my professional experience that having more information is helpful when facing a major unknown, like a new educational system.
In the spring, I helped my son forecast for his classes, guiding choices as only a school counselor mom can.
After consulting his 8th-grade teachers, I pushed him to plan for advanced algebra and third-year Spanish, knowing that he is ready academically for these advanced courses.
Looking through the course catalog helped build excitement and interest that I know will later drive a deepening of his academic interests.
We also mapped out his city bus route to school.
No more reliance on Mom for rides (three cheers for the end of carpool!).
Perhaps the most impactful preplanning arrangement was to put our son in touch with a friend’s son, who will be a senior this year.
He also graduated from the same small private school as my son, so they share a similar history.
The senior answered all kinds of practical questions like “Do the students use binders?
What is the vibe at the high school?” Getting the answers to these questions helped my son feel more prepared and also gave me some peace of mind.
Every year, I tell my 8th-grade students to get involved in school activities as soon as possible.
Fall sports are one of many keys to unlocking the high school social scene, as are clubs, band, theater, and other after-school options.
The other piece of advice I give my students and have repeated all summer to my son: you just need someone to eat lunch with that first week of school.
After that, your group will find a spot to meet every day, and your social circle will grow from there.
My son attended twice-weekly high school soccer meetups with the team starting in June.
We randomly met one of the high school soccer coaches, and after a brief chat, we ended up hiring the coach for weekly training sessions that have given our son a confidence boost, and the extra fitness workouts have helped, too.
Leading into the school year, the high school soccer team holds a week-long camp right before four days of tryouts (fingers crossed he makes the cut).
The summer of high school training not only helped him stay fit and get to know the culture of the team, but also provided many opportunities to deepen his social ties with the other boys who play.
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