Kyle Brandt explains why the Cowboys are like Taco Bell

ESPN has never been hesitant to cover the never-ending circus that is the Dallas Cowboys franchise. The Worldwide Leader’s proclivity to discuss the state of things in Jerry World has been covered multiple times over the years, and Charles Barkley and Inside the NBA even poked fun at it after joining the ESPN family.

It’s a fact that isn’t wasted inside the halls of ESPN, either.

“I don’t know if you heard this about ESPN. Sometimes they say that we’re a little cowboy over the top,” longtime SportsCenter anchor Scott Van Pelt said to Kyle Brandt on Thursday night, who recently joined the network as part of the consolidation of ESPN and NFL Network.

“You get the memo that says you have to talk about the Cowboys,” Van Pelt joked. “No one says you have to talk about the Cowboys. I root for the team that was their most hated rival in Washington, and I love to make fun of the fact that since I’ve worked at ESPN, which is a long-*ss time, never once have they played for an NFC Championship, let alone a title. That’s a fact. Yes. I think they’re going to be good. I really do. I like their defense.”

After joking that his take was going to end up on the popular Freezing Cold Takes X account, Brandt made quite the analogy for why there’s a pretty decent chance Van Pelt’s take will go on to be very off-base.

Kyle Brandt on why the Dallas Cowboys are like Taco Bell.

(After shouting out @OldTakesExposed while Scott Van Pelt tried to remember what a bookmark is on social media.) pic.twitter.com/txNeks4xNK

— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) August 21, 2026

“Scott, when you’re driving your sons around, you guys ever hit the Taco Bell?” Brandt asked. “Taco Bell for like 50 years has just been taking like the same five ingredients and just repurposing them… Cowboys are the Taco Bell team. It’s the same thing for decades. ‘We have a fancy quarterback. We have a big old owner. We have a defensive end.’ It’s just like, this is now the Tostitos Nacho Nacho Wrap. Yeah, two nachos!”

Van Pelt pointed toward standout roster pieces that could turn Dallas into a legitimate contender, such as impressive rookie Caleb Downs out of Ohio State. Brandt, however, was hearing none of it.

“Come on, beef, tomatoes, shell cheese, over and over. And it’s —, but it’s good. It’s always good. I love Taco Bell, believe me. Even through the lettuce thing, I was eating Taco Bell,” Brandt said, referencing a Cyclospora parasite outbreak that forced the restaurant to remove shredded iceberg lettuce from its menu earlier this summer. “I’m a madman. But I’ve seen this over the years.”

Still, the eccentric analogy wasn’t enough to sway Van Pelt.

“I think they’re good,” he maintained.

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