I'm 56 and struggling to find a job. I think employers can sense my desperation, but I wish they knew how capable I am.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Kymm Dracup, a 56-year-old based in Toronto.

It’s been edited for length and clarity.

My daughter says, “Don’t worry, Mom, you’ll get a job.

I’ve seen your résumé, you’re great.” I don’t think my daughter realizes the effect that my age, 56, has on my confidence and finding work.

I was unemployed for 22 months before landing a temporary consulting job a few months ago.

There’s no guarantee for a transition to full-time work, and I’m really scared about my future.

I’ve been rejected countless times, and I recently got evicted from my home.

Unfortunately, I think my confidence took a hit, and my desperation for a job is coming through in my interviews.

In Still in the Game, Business Insider is chronicling the realities of job hunting in your 50s — from overcoming age bias and navigating career transitions to rebuilding confidence, updating skills, and finding new opportunities in an increasingly competitive job market.

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I was the head of the management team for a group travel company for three years.

I asked for a reason, but I was never given one.

In Ontario, you don’t legally need to give a reason, so that was it.

It was very tough on my confidence to get let go.

I still don’t know the reason, but my best guess is that they were bringing in younger people with fresh eyes and innovations to replace me.

After losing my job, I started applying wherever I could, mostly for travel jobs, and later, any sales job.

I received rejection after rejection.

I’ve been stood up for interviews, received automated rejections, and even had recruiters find excuses to end calls after seeing my face on camera.

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It feels obvious to me that age is a factor in why I can’t find a job, but the tricky thing is that there’s no real way to prove that any of these rejections are due to my age.

It hurts, and I don’t feel as though recruiters see my value.

When I was on the job market five years ago, I don’t think AI was being used to sort through résumés.

Additionally, I’ve never interviewed online before now, and quite frankly, it’s a bit intimidating.

Therefore, I may not come across as confident, as there is an insecurity factor lending to the video.

I know how to sell myself in person, but I find it difficult, especially at my age, to do so over Zoom.

You can be vibrant, brilliant, and all these things, but it’s tricky because my generation is so geared to meeting people face to face.

There are also only so few jobs available.

I applied for an entry-level receptionist role for a yoga studio, and they stood me up for my interview.

So many people are looking for jobs, and I think older people might not be the first to get hired.

As a single woman in my 50s, I don’t have a partner to financially support me during this time.

I feel desperate to find a job, and though I don’t want it to come across that way to hiring managers, I think they can feel it.

When I get another rejection, the self-doubt that I’m worthless, too old, and that nobody will hire me comes back up, and the desperation intensifies.

I try to tell myself, “Kymm, pull up your socks.

Go on to the next interview,” but in the back of my mind, the doubt is still there.

Sometimes I’m joining an interview after not leaving the house or speaking to people for days.

When I get an interview, I can’t just snap my fingers and get out of that dark place.

My daughter has offered to let me stay in her home since I now have an income.

I’m helping her pay bills while I figure it out.

I think it’s very difficult for her to have a parent who is all of a sudden in need.

I was strong, and now I just crumpled to the ground.

I’ve been in a really dark place, and I know that’s not easy for her.

What is helping me through this time is turning to God.

Most people coming out of university these days are learning AI and are up to date with modern technology.

When you bring in someone my age, it’s different because the technology we had in school was pretty archaic.

I had no idea how difficult it would be to navigate the job market.

I wish I were more prepared for all of the “no”s because it can be really hard on your self-esteem.

I wish that life experience were viewed as a more valuable asset in the workplace.

It’s been very hard to get out of that dark mindset when I keep receiving rejections.

My advice is to find a way to believe in something better for yourself.

Sometimes belief is all you have, so you’ve got to hold onto it.

Are you navigating a career change in your 50s?

Contact this reporter at tmartinelli@businessinsider.com to share your story.