I moved to New York for my dream job, but my fiancé didn’t come with me. After 2 years, we reached a compromise.

When I met my husband, Tyler, in college, I thought he’d be just another classmate.

After all, we were polar opposites.

He was studying environmental science, while I was excelling in communications.

He loved living in our home state of Maine, and I was planning to move to New York City to pursue my writing dreams.

We began dating in 2018 and, by 2023, my desire to leave Maine was stronger than ever.

For weeks, I worked up the courage to tell Tyler I was ready to move away, with or without him.

I didn’t want to leave Tyler, and I worried he’d break up with me.

Instead, he was supportive: “You need to move out of Maine, and I’m going to help you do that.” I’d been freelancing writing since 2020, and by 2023, my work was featured in several major publications.

Writers and editors I worked with regularly began suggesting I move closer to New York, where they said I’d have more journalism opportunities.

A lot of the job listings I’d been bookmarking for years were based in New York, but as a freelancer in Maine, I didn’t think I had much of a chance of even getting an interview.

Tyler kept encouraging me to apply anyway.

The day I got a job offer to be a reporter in New York was one of the happiest of my life.

Finally, I could be paid to write full-time and fulfill my dream of leaving Maine.

A few weeks later, Tyler and I got engaged.

I was even happier, but there was a problem: I now had to move to the New York area, and he still had no desire to come with me.

Tyler already had a job in Maine, and New York City’s high cost of living and big-city environment didn’t appeal to him.

As I kicked off our engagement by moving seven hours away, we were excited to prove to our friends and family that we could survive the distance and eventually become husband and wife.

After I moved close to my job, we FaceTimed and spoke on the phone every night.

By that point, our communication and the trust we’d built were so strong, and I fell more in love with him because of it.

We’d originally planned to visit each other every other weekend, alternating between him driving seven hours to me and me flying or taking a bus or train to him in Maine.

However, our plans were too idealistic.

Bad weather, scheduling, and limited finances frequently got in the way.

After about two years of this arrangement, we were lucky if we got to see each other for one day every three months.

By then, we were newly married, and as happy as I was working my dream job and spending long days in New York City, I missed my husband, and living apart was starting to wear us down.

I had trouble eating and sleeping a lot of days, and we were both worried we’d never actually settle down together.

With my job tied to New York and Tyler’s in Maine, the chance to start our lives together seemed out of reach.

Eventually, I realized my dream of settling down and starting a family with Tyler was bigger than any job or place.

So, I left my role and moved back to Maine so that Tyler and I could figure out how we could begin our lives together rather than apart.

After long conversations, we realized the two things we had in common were our desire to live somewhere new and our readiness to leave New England.

While visiting friends in North Carolina, we fell in love with Charlotte, which felt like the perfect compromise.

The evolving restaurant scene and lively downtown reminded me of New York, while its proximity to beaches and fishing spots reminded Tyler of Maine.

We also learned about Charlotte’s many annual food festivals, which made us excited about one day having kids of our own and attending these events as a family.

Tyler got a job close to Charlotte, while I returned to freelance writing and social-media marketing.

Although I miss writing full-time, I’m happy to set my own schedule, work remotely, and express my creativity while freelancing with my favorite publications.

I don’t regret any choices I’ve made, but I still miss New York sometimes.

I have days when I ask myself what life would’ve been like if I hadn’t left my dream job or the Northeast.

I will never know the answers to these questions, but what I do know is I’m happily married to the love of my life, Charlotte is really starting to feel like home, and New York is always there for me to visit.