Get better at work today: 3 things to say when you need to give tough feedback

Ditch the compliment sandwich and try this three-step framework for providing feedback.

First, offer praise for something they’re doing well.

Next, be direct about the issue you want to address.

Then, provide a specific suggestion for how to improve.

Etiquette experts Daniel Post Senning and Lizzie Post said that the classic compliment sandwich isn’t necessarily the most effective way to give feedback.

However, if you end the conversation by offering a specific suggestion, rather than a compliment, you’re helping them understand how to improve and and feedback becomes constructive.

A 2022 study published by the American Psychological Association found that people do value honest feedback.

The study comprised five feedback experiments with nearly 2,000 participants.

In all five experiments, the people providing feedback consistently underestimated how much others wanted it.

Take five minutes before you leave work to write down feedback you’ve been avoiding addressing with someone.

Use the three-step framework to plan out what you’re going to say.

Make sure you end with a specific suggestion they can apply to improve.

People appreciate honest feedback, and want to get better, but they need guidance, not just criticism.

This advice comes from Business Insider’s 2025 interview with etiquette experts Daniel Post Senning and Lizzie Post, who shared a three-step approach to giving constructive criticism.

This story also includes information from a study published by the American Psychological Association, which shows that people underestimate others’ desire for feedback.

You can read more about that study here.