We don't trade our kids for their trick-or-treat candy haul. In fact, we let them keep their candy until long after Halloween has passed.

• We don’t offer our kids cash or toys for their Halloween candy.
• They get to eat as much as they want on Halloween and keep the rest after.
• I want them to learn how to listen to their bodies and develop a healthy relationship with sugar.

When Halloween rolls around every year, the Switch Witch or candy fairy posts start flooding my feed. But in our house, our three kids can eat as much candy as they want on Halloween night, and we don’t offer to trade cash or toys for their haul. In fact, we let them keep their candy until long after Halloween has passed.

I’m not anti-rules, I’m pro-experience

I’m not saying sugar is harmless or that I want my kids to eat unlimited amounts of candy every day, but I understand the value of special occasions, and I want them to do the same. I also know that just telling kids something isn’t good for them and not letting them have the firsthand experience often backfires. (Or maybe that’s just my kids?) And I have to admit the first time I watched my oldest kid work her way through a pile of wrappers, I wondered if I’d made a huge mistake.

But it wasn’t a mistake. It’s allowed us to frame sugar within our eating habits to help our kids understand what a well-balanced diet means, rather than focusing only on its downsides. We talk about the place of protein, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and treats in our lives. Ultimately, I’d rather help my kids build their own internal “enough” meter while they are young than have me control it now and send them into adulthood lacking the skill. This is one opportunity to do that.

Our Halloween rules are simple

Our house generally operates on a “two sugars per day” rule: as long as they eat a good balance of foods, our kids can choose two things they’d like that contain sugar throughout the day. This might be a family trip to an ice cream shop or a lollipop from a doctor’s office. But on Halloween, the only rule is that they have to eat a decent dinner before trick-or-treating. Then they can eat as much candy as they’d like.

The second rule around Halloween is that anything not eaten by the following summer is thrown away. And you’d be surprised at how much candy we throw away. Because candy isn’t forbidden fruit in our house, our kids don’t hoard it and are fairly mindful about eating what they truly enjoy. This means they’re generally open to giving away candies they don’t like to siblings or parents (my collection of Almond Joys each October 31st brings me great, well, joy), and they also preemptively throw away things no one likes.

They are learning an important lesson about their bodies

Each of our kids has learned what too much sugar feels like, from crashes to more unfortunate situations. There was the unforgettable Saturday afternoon our then-6-year-old treated us to bright blue throw-up, courtesy of too many Toxic Waste candies. And the night our then-10-year-old woke up again and again with a stomachache.

But none of them have had a negative experience twice (so far). They are growing more attuned to their bodies and what makes them feel unwell before they hit the tipping point. To me, this is a sign that they are forming healthy relationships with sugar, and eating in general. It’s ever-evolving, of course, but I didn’t grow up learning this skill, so it’s one I want to give them.

And for me, it goes beyond food. I hope they’ll understand and listen to their bodies in other situations as they grow, from going to parties in college to pushing themselves physically in exercise or sports. Our bodies are really cool, complex machines that give us a lot of signals if we know how to tune in. An overindulgent night of candy on Halloween seems like a pretty low-risk way to help them calibrate their “enough” meter.

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