Think a kid-free internet sounds great? You’re not paying attention.

I have a rule about the internet that serves me well whenever I see something I don’t quite understand: Assume everything you’re seeing is for — or by — 12-year-olds.

Wondering what “Baby Gronk rizzed up Livvy Dunne” means?

Unclear about Skibidi Toilet or Italian brainrot?

See a photo of The Grinch smiling and saying, “That feeling when knee surgery is tomorrow?” That’s for 7th graders, not you.

Confused by the rise of looksmaxxers like Clavicular and the new mogging and maxxing lingo?

I promise: If you’re reading this, you’re at least two decades past the target audience.

The percentage of tweens and young teens on the internet at any one time is statistically smaller than that of adults.

There’s a lot more of us olds in the world, after all.

But young people have always been responsible for a disproportionate share of what becomes internet culture.

Think back to the early days of Twitter, where the sheer quantity of tweets from Justin Bieber fans frequently overwhelmed the service.

The thing is, I don’t think most adults think it’s a particularly good thing that there are so many kids online.

Many parents are especially concerned with screentime and the potential harms of social media, especially for younger teens.

What if, suddenly, all those kids went away?

We might start to find out, as countries around the world look to implement — or have already implemented — bans on teens and younger children using social media.

Just this week, UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer announced plans for a social media ban for kids under 16 in the UK.

It’s similar to the social ban that started last year in Australia.

There are all kinds of reasons that parents might not want their kids on social media, and all kinds of reasons why it could be smart to verify ages before letting someone talk to strangers. (There are also all kinds of reasons why it might be good to let teens on social media.) I’m not going to dissect all of those here!

Let’s imagine, though: What if there were some “Children of Men”-type event where suddenly there was no one under 16 on social media?

What would that look like for us, the adults?

TikTok dances would grind to a halt.

Roblox streamers would play Brookhaven to empty streams.

Instagram would be pretty empty, but it’d likely be an extinction-level event for Snapchat.

Something like this actually happened, giving us a small test: Brazil temporarily banned X nationwide in 2024, and suddenly the vast ecosystem of stan accounts for various pop stars — a rich and vibrant life force of the platform — fell silent (thankfully, stanning has resumed).

Now, as an adult, you’re probably thinking that you don’t really notice kids online and certainly don’t seek them out.

It’s true that your algorithms and feeds probably don’t show you the same kind of content that a 13-year-old is seeing — and you probably don’t often come across photos or videos posted by young teens or children unless their parents post them.

But I would caution you against assuming you’re not consuming content made by kids — or stuff that’s intended for an audience largely under age 16.

Think of some of the most popular creators right now, people like MrBeast, Alix Earle, or Kai Cenat. (If these names don’t immediately ring a bell, please remember to schedule your colonoscopy.) The success of these people is largely due to young fans.

It all reminds me of an (ecologically dubious) urban legend that you’re never more than six feet from a spider.

The internet is like that with teens and kids: You might think you don’t rub elbows with kids online, but I promise you that they’re closer than you think.

The memes you’re seeing, the kinds of creators who get popular, the new words that enter our lexicon; a lot of that comes from younger users (even if they aren’t the ones inventing new words or memes, they’re often the most active in propagating them).

So you’re undoubtedly feeling the secondary effects of young people’s presence across the internet, even if it doesn’t seem obvious.

None of this really addresses the big thorny issues about kids and social media and how to keep them safe and establish healthy boundaries about internet use, or how to verify age for users without compromising privacy for everyone.

I certainly have no idea how to accomplish all of that!

But one thing I do know: If and when we yank kids from social media, we’ll notice they’re gone.

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