Holidays and milestones were hard to celebrate after my husband died. A taco salad helped us break through the pain.

• After my husband of 17 years died, celebrations were hard for my daughter and me.
• We tried to honor his memory by sticking to traditions, but those felt hollow without him.
• We found a way to celebrate the person he was and the wonderful things he contributed to our lives.

While mourning is important, I think it’s also a little self-indulgent. It focuses on our feelings of what’s missing rather than on celebrating what we loved about the ones we’ve lost. When we dug into that taco salad, we found ourselves talking about the perspective Danny had brought to our lives. The surprises. The wonder. It was a tribute to the person and what he had contributed to our lives, and that’s something worth celebrating.