Being raised by NYC first responders gave Bills assistant coach Dean Marlowe a unique 9/11 perspective: 'It affected all of us that day'

For most 9-year olds, the sight of a parent picking them up a little more than an hour into the school day might be a welcome one. But 25 years ago, Dean Marlowe realized quickly that something was very wrong.

“I was in the middle of class, and my stepdad came and picked me up from class,” Marlowe told Yahoo Sports by phone recently. “I was kind of confused because I was like, ‘Hey, what’s going on?’ I had just gotten to school. And all I remember him saying is that something bad happened in New York City where me and your mom are working, and we have to go there immediately.”

That was the morning of 9/11, and Marlowe was just starting to realize how life-changing that day would be. 

Mike Neil, Marlowe’s stepfather and a police sergeant with the 75th precinct, had worked a late shift the night before as a favor to a friend. Neil had been asleep only a few hours when another officer from the precinct called to summon him back to work. It wasn’t until Neil turned on his TV, seeing the second plane hit the World Trade Center, before he understood why.

Neil called his wife, Lisa, a police officer in Harlem’s 32nd precinct, who told him to pick up Dean and his older sister, who worked at a bank close to Marlowe’s school. Neither parent was sure when they’d see their kids again, knowing that people were dying and the city they were tasked with protecting was being cloaked in fire, smoke and debris. 

Most of Marlowe’s family — both parents, plus his aunt, cousins, great uncle and granddad — were police officers and firefighters at the time. Some still are in active duty. It was the world Marlowe grew up in. And it was the darkest day in any of their lives.

Neil tried as best he could to explain to Marlowe what was happening and why he needed to go back to work. As he arrived home to Queens, the nightmare sank in for the young boy.

“I was in Queens, and from my house you could still see some of the smoke that was just piling up in the air after that afternoon, that night, that evening-ish,” Marlowe said. “You could see smoke everywhere, even miles away.

“My mom and stepdad were there probably for like five or six days, just trying to help clean up — cleaning up bodies, finding body parts. It was so tragic.”

But Marlowe also believes it was an event that created a unique bond between the family.

“It was definitely a true tragic moment for our family,” he said, “but also a moment for our family to come together and persevere and take this as a united-we-stand moment.”

Dean Marlowe’s career change

Marlowe is now 34 years old. He spent eight years forging an NFL career, bouncing between five teams but finding a special place to land in Buffalo. Marlowe spent parts of four seasons there, plus one year on the Bills’ practice squad, carving out a reputation as a dirty-work specialist, both as a special teamer and part-time safety, becoming a fan and teammate favorite in the process.

“Deano is great,” Bills general manager Brandon Beane said. “Super positive. He was a tough player for us in both Carolina and Buffalo.”

.@machine_marlowe with the INT! @BuffaloBills get the ball right back.

📺: #MIAvsBUF on CBS
📱: Stream on NFL+ https://t.co/zCGXBeNnOKpic.twitter.com/17ctaDEPup

— NFL (@NFL) January 15, 2023

Marlowe’s signature moment in a Bills uniform was an interception against the Miami Dolphins in the 2022 season’s wild-card round, taking over the starting role for Damar Hamlin after his cardiac arrest two weeks earlier in Cincinnati. The pick helped vault the Bills’ 34-31 victory.

Marlowe retired following the 2024 season, wanting to shift his career to coaching.

“I want to be able to use my leadership and passion to help the next generation of football players reach their highest potential on and off the field,” he wrote on X.

Football, one of the greatest gifts given to me. As a little kid from Queens, NY all I wanted to do was live out a dream that most people never come close to & I did. Went UNDRAFTED to play 9 years in the NFL, Im blessed.
The number of relationships that I have created with… pic.twitter.com/7JS6oQdYoN

— Dean Marlowe (@DMarlowe_Coach) January 13, 2025

Not surprisingly, Marlowe ended up back in Buffalo. First, he had to endure an incredibly trying season as a defensive quality control coach for Oklahoma State in 2025, which ended with the Cowboys at 1-11 — one win followed by 11 straight losses. It was a stark reminder of how tough the game can be at times, but it didn’t deter Marlowe from continuing his coaching pursuit.  

“You know, it was one of the best worst experiences I’ve had in my life in terms of football,” Marlowe said. “It was a huge learning lesson, and I’m grateful to have that opportunity.”

The Bills extended Marlowe an invitation with a Bill Walsh Diversity Coaching Fellowship this summer. The position was temporary, but when his term was up, the team kept Marlowe on staff for the remainder of the season. Whatever the Bills need, Marlowe said, he’s willing to help.

“Just being on the field with the guys, game planning, managing as a coach, just all that stuff is … it just feels like I’m back doing what I love. … You know, I just love it, dude,” he said. “Even though you know you’re not physically out there performing, you’re still doing everything more from a mental standpoint, which is great. So I’m having a blast with it.”

Marlowe’s NFL coaching debut will come Sunday in Houston, in one of the NFL’s biggest Week 1 matchups: Bills at Texans, two teams talented enough to meet again in the playoffs. It will be a special moment in his new career. But coming two days after the 25th anniversary of 9/11, with tributes planned for every game, there also will be other emotions running through his mind.

“It hits a little bit different because my family ties that I have to it are just to the point where it feels like that day my whole family was affected — physically, yes, but also mentally and emotionally,” Marlowe said.

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How 9/11 has changed Marlowe’s perspective

Every year, as 9/11 approaches, Marlowe can’t help but look back on that day. It’s a story he’s told before, notably to the Detroit Free Press during his time as a Lion. This time 25 years have passed, and he’s now a full-grown man with a family of his own, embarking on a career shift. Something will trigger a memory of the trauma, but Marlowe said the more time passes, the more it becomes a badge of honor for him and his family.

“It means something to me when I ever see a reminder, a commercial, a post, or anything about 9/11. I kind of get chills,” Marlowe said. “It’s not a negative emotion, though. It’s more of a proud feeling, because almost my whole family — everyone was involved.

“It affected all of us that day, and it still does.”

Not everyone in the family is able to see 9/11 in as inspiring a way as Marlowe does. His great uncle, Peter O’Donohue, was part of the FDNY’s special operations command on Roosevelt Island in 2001. On the morning of the attacks — O’Donohue’s wedding anniversary — he got off work around 7 a.m. and had breakfast with some of his fellow firemen. It was the last time they were all together.

O’Donohue had the day off and went home, planning to celebrate that night with his wife. The rest of his crew got ready for work. None of them made it home that night. All 10 were in the WTC towers when they collapsed.

“He actually lost his entire ladder that day. He survived,” Marlowe said. “He woke up a few hours later and … he was like, ‘Holy moly, that should have been me with my ladder that had passed.’

“He doesn’t like to talk about it often. He still lives with survivor’s guilt. He acknowledges such a horrific but proud moment for the country. But he just doesn’t go into detail about it because he still suffers from some really traumatic stuff.”

Marlowe has a large tattoo running down his leg, which he refers to as his 9/11 memorial, honoring his first-responder family members, including his second cousin, Donald Burns, a deputy fire chief who died just minutes after helping set up a command center in the South Tower before it came crashing down.

“I have my mom and stepdad’s badge number. I have my great uncle’s badge number, my second cousin’s badge number as well,” Marlowe said. “So yeah, it means a lot every time I see it.”

Marlowe might not have followed his family direction into becoming a first responder, and he’s not sure if 9/11 had a way of pushing him more toward football or not. He also knows that comparing the adversity he’s faced as a player and coach, being cut multiple times and enduring a 1-11 season his first year coaching, isn’t at all tantamount to the tragedy he and his family endured 25 years ago.

But Marlowe has always tried to find strength in darker times, using his family’s strength as his north star.

“The one thing I always think is that when there’s something bad that happens in life, anyone can learn from it. The crazy thing — and I hate to say it like this — is that the sun rises the next day. Not to disregard things that happened, but if you know that at the end of the day the sun is gonna come back up the next day … that’s life.”

“It showed the resilience of my family and showed the resilience of the country. The amount of endless hours that my family members were working, and the strength it took to really go out there and help our country.

“It takes a village for everything. I live my life like that when I’m in sports and in my regular life with my family. No one can ever be truly successful by themselves. You’re never in it alone.”

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p style=”text-align:left”>With every year that passes, and every milestone 9/11 that arrives, Marlowe realizes just how much that one day has helped shape his life.

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